Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
