i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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