I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize