Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
