so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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