dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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