its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize