All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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