Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
