I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
