I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
