I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
