Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
