Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
