I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
