3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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