my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
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