If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
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