mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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