What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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