just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize