That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
