According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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