so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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