i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She even gives head with a lisp.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
