I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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