The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
