afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize