It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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