are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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