ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
