hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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