somebody snuck up and got me drunk
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You pole danced in your parka.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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