I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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