You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
