Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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