is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
