My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
