I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
