Just cropdusted the office
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
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