I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
