Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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