My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
