she told me i tasted like america
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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