while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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