your parents love me but you hate me
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
