would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
