I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
