I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
