She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
