Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
this boner is exhausting
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
