Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
