I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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