i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Randomize
