This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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