so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
