That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize