he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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