I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Randomize
