Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
