i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
