Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
