so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
im holly from the hills drunk
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
