No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
