i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
