i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
