I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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