i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
