I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
