I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
i out mim tonsoeep
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