Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Watching her eat just hurts me
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
