apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
