I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
She's not a foreskin expert like you
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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