I'm gonna have a badass scar
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize