he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just had sex on a roof
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
